i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
