i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She bit a glass in half.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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