i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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