I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
