i barfeds in our rink
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
