Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
