I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
