I bet he comes in French.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
