STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
