sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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