What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
