ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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