Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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