So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
