The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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