I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You're like the curious george of whores
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
