I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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