Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
