Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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