He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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