He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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