Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
