I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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