I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
