Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
