Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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