but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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