you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
