im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
NoShamevember. You game?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
