I just made out with a guy for $7.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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