So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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