The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
