It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
