I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
