Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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