My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
