If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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