i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
