im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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