So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i drank out of a bidet.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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