it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
