I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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