you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
