Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
