I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
