how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
