Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
