I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
jump out the window naked night went bad
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