Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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