I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
