That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
