It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
