Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
